Thursday, March 12, 2009

Adopting a Special Needs Child

You are adopting a special needs child......


You are anxiously awaiting a child....
Finally, you are matched with a child. It is a joyous day fro you. You are extremely happy that this child is already calling you, "Mom and Dad." They seem very happy and comfortable with you and that is great!
You want to replace their birth parents. That is understandable. I have been there, three times, but you must know that they may want to talk about their birth parents from time to time. It's hard, but I have learned to listen. You want the child to see you as their only family. They may have some good memories of their past, whether it be their birth parent, aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc... or even a previous foster family.
Sure, it can sometimes be hurtful because you are giving the child a very good life, but you need to know that from time to time, they may be hurting and missing people from their past, even if these people have hurt them. It is your job as a parent to comfort the child. It is never their job to comfort you as a parent or watch what they say, to keep from hurting your feelings. The child needs you. You can give them many new memories but you cannot take away memories, even though you may wish you could.
Kids are just little people. They have their own feelings, their own mind, and their own thoughts. They may not express them as an adult would but they know how they feel.
When a child is angry they may stomp around or even throw a tantrum. Adults do much the same only in most cases, they may have more control, but either way we are all the same people.
Kids need time to learn and grow, to express themselves in a healthy way.
Understand that they do have a past. They do have a past family. They do have feelings and they do need to share that with you from time to time.

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