Thursday, March 12, 2009

Adoption Hardships

There are adoption hardships that some people may never even think of.....

One of our adopted sons was badly neglected, emotionally and physically abused. He had many issues to overcome. He didn't know emotions or love and usually showed angry emotions through terrible tantrums and violent rages. He had been shifted from home to home, hospitals, and a residential treatment facility.
In the past doctors had diagnosed him with Severe RADD, ODD, ADHD, IED, and bipolar disorder, because he showed every symptom.
We knew that he just had a terrible life and we knew that it would be a very long battle but the boy was just "REALLY MAD."
He was taking ten different medications when he came to our care! He was only eight years old!
In time, under doctor care, I insisted he be weaned off them all! Doctors hesitated but I was the legal parent. They did not like at all what I was suggesting, but had to please my wishes. I of course had to home school him through this process. Schools wouldn't even consider taking him un medicated. Eventually I proved to the doctors and school that this child was not ill, but just plain mad at the world!
This is not a fact but only my opinion that doctors, residential homes can often over medicate children like this. This is merely my opinion. Let me tell you why. It was indeed a hard road with this child, but I did eventually prove to everyone that he didn't need all this medication. In fact, he didn't need any at all!
As his legal parents now, we are furious at the side effects that we "know" were caused by some of these very potent medications. It caused stunts in developments both physical and mental. The heavy medications also caused nervous twitches that may be permanent. he has (much like Turret Syndrome) implosive actions causing him to stroke upwards on his nose very hardly at least 30 times per day. He is constantly twisting his ear like a nervous habit. Now this may sound strange, but it's real. This may be (I've been told) a permanent un-controllable impulse. I'm not badgering residential homes because there are some very good homes, but the one my son temporarily lived at, had a very high number of children there with some very severe illnesses. They have to keep the kids calm and safe, I agree, but in some cases, they over medicate. (I feel)
I have been very strong opinionated about this issue. Our children were all taken out of their homes and placed in foster care to be adopted, because of abuse, neglect, and more. In my opinion, there is no medication made by man that will cure this for them.
My advice is to just beware! Read side effects of medications! Ask questions, and go with your parental instincts.

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