Thursday, March 12, 2009

Adoption Struggles

There can be many struggles in your adoption journey....

There are many issues you may face when adopting a special needs child.

In my experience, I have found that these children come with a "Label." When getting their past profile, which is anything and everything that has happened in their lives, it can look like overwhelming when seeing all the "bad" things they may have been through or did. Often times schools, day cares and whoever get access to these profiles. they may not have their heart into the child as you do, so they give them a label and "proceed with caution."
My adopted child was given this label before ever entering school. Teachers just assumed he was a very bad child, a hopeless child and never tolerated anything from him. They already judged him with a bad reputation before they knew him. It was hard for him to prove otherwise to anyone. Things went from bad to worse as he was treated like a "problem child." They treated him no respect and so his attitude went from already troubled to terrifying very quickly. They made matters worse because they tip-toed around him and left him have full control of situations. His behaviors became so much worse and he was feeding on their negative attention. I learned that I had to fight for this child if I wanted matters to get better. No one else was going to fight for him. I had to be a very active advocate for him in school. I had to listen to him as well as what the teachers were saying to learn that mostly they did provoke him. My child often got the blame for another child because he had "issues." I have fought a good many battles for all three of my adopted boys. Sometimes they were at fault. Sometimes they were not! When it was not their fault, and I fought on their behalf, it made great changes in their behavior. They learned how to take blame as well as defend themselves.

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